4OE

     Comparing the way our generation grew up with the way kids did thirty or forty years ago makes us look like pussies, and it's only getting worse. I've realised that one day, I'll be telling some kids about my childhood, like my Dad did with me, and they'll pay me their utmost attention and hang on my every word. I'll tell them about driving around smoking weed, drinking beer from a brown paper-bottle as you walk down the street, being able to yell at people from your car as you speed past them, or even smoking cigarettes or fiddling with a girls tongue in public. I'll tell them the legends of the running of the bulls in old Pamplona, and it'll seem to them like when you heard about Roman gladiators fighting to the death. I could tell them about playgrounds and swings and being able to swim in the ocean. “Sharks!” they'd scream, and I'd tell them, “Yes, kids. They were there, and they still are. But you just go swimming anyway.” And they'd all think that we are all tough and manly and brave, and probably show us a little bit more respect. I'd probably even lie a bit, and tell them stuff like that we were all allowed to buy ecstasy from cafes and all walked around chewing our faces off. Who knows what future awaits this next generation of little grommets. I shudder to think about all the amazing drugs that will disappear from the market. If LSD is a dying distant memory in the future, then I'm glad that I'm probably not going to be there. Everything will be so much more policed that we aren't going to be able to get away with anything, and that makes me kind of glad, now, to be living in the age I am.

     With the computer age upon us, and so many gadgets that make our lives easier in certain ways, it seems that many simple, beautiful and important things in life are becoming overlooked. At this rate, if I ever have kids, their generation aren't going to be able to toast a slice of bread or wipe their own arse. I used to look back on my dad and people his age with veneration, respect and a small amount of jealousy. I still do. I'm kind of terrified about what my kids might have to grow up with, that is, if I ever do give some poor bird a squirt in the guts that ends up turning into a baby. I'm sure by then you'll be able to choose the sex of your child before it comes out, and when it does. They'll stab some shit into it that'll make it healthy, happy and both mentally and physically stable, before being taken off for the vaccine shower that gives them immunity to all diseases. From then on, all you really need to do as a parent is let it crawl around on the floor while iMother takes care of it, feeding it and changing its nappies. Then, when they hit puberty, they all get chained to their portable tablet screens, and with eyes unblinking and absent minds they stare with unwavering attention as they're continuously spoon-fed more information about “life”.

     Real life experiences will become replaced by replicated, artificial achievements that may seem tangible, but are really only making our lives easier in immediate and obvious ways. They really just free up more of our day, and now that everybody is under the impression that we have such precious little time on the Earth, they're all in such a rush to do everything and get anywhere. I choose to spend what precious little time I have left enjoying myself, living it up, and trying to soak up some of the sweet gems and pearls of wisdom that life holds. If I learn any, I'll be sure to post them up soon after.